Piercing Questions

I dont think Id last 5 minutes in an organised crime career mainly because I ask too many questions. I asked one today about how an entrenpreneur makes his money from this commercialised ‘socialised’ art project I visited. Whenever I ask such a piercing question it feels like this scooping chasm appears in my chest with a black wave whooshing over it. I end up looking into space when I ask such things and as I’ve already started the question, I end up finishing it. I don’t realise how invasive the question is until halfway through saying it. No wonder people get so defensive around me. I just don’t notice this defensiveness until long afterwards in hindsight. I also don’t regret asking the questions to be honest.

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The ever ballooning essay

The university essay I’m writing at the moment is like a damn illness. I got a deadline extension on it a month ago and its due a week today. It on the ability of arts community projects to raise social capital. I was working in an arts organisation and planned to do a case study based on a project they did last year but for some mysterious reason they wouldn’t give me any data for it or answer a few questions. So in other words I was really let down by them. So I was stuck then for data on some arts projects. Luckily my lecturer helped in finding some new ones for me but this essay is still with me. its remained 80% complete for like 3 weeks now and I can’t get it over the line. It keeps expanding and expanding with no great progress on my literature review. Ive never actually written a literature review before. Ive made some progress today with it so now its 85%. Its just like churning rather than progressing. Im visiting an arts project tomorrow and I hope they answered my little questionnaire I sent them for data. This damn essay needs boxing off by Thursday as this week I officially start my dissertation. I’ll have 3 months this week to do it. Ive been finding every possible method of procrastinating ¬†over it. Ive got to get structured and disciplined about it and ask for help when I’m really stuck.